The Life of Your Master

Yo,

That couch is freaking sweet. I just wish the stinky humans would leave already so I can get some beauty rest.

I killed a cock-a-roach the other day. It takes good, espicially as it squirmed for dear life. I am death incarnate.

When I was young and foolish, people would pick me up and I would let them get away with it. Now that I'm 2, or will be in the next week, I know better then to let them exploit me for their own pleasure.

They're disgusting overgrown hairless monkeys, all of them. Just because I'm beautiful doesn't mean that I will let them pick me up whenever. Fuck that.

I can't help it I'm beautiful and my fur is shedding because it's warm. At least I don't have to put on processed cotten to warm my myself like those chimps do.

I'm hungry again. I feel like meat, but all there is here is kibbles and bits. It'll do. I like swampy water too. It gets me vitamin C.

I feel like fighting other cats. Man, it would be great if a clawless cat started living here so I could beat the shit out of them.

That's all for now,

Ham Sandwich.

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